Multiple Births

Having twins or multiple children means much more than simply having two babies or more at once, and this challenge goes beyond having twice the work or pleasure. Twins and multiples quite frequently are born early and therefore tend to be smaller than the average newborn, so you may need to consult your pediatrician even more frequently than you would with a single baby. Feeding twins or more, whether by breast or bottle, also requires some special strategies, and the doctor can provide advice and support.

Raising Multiple Children
From the very beginning, it's important that you recognize your babies as separate individuals. If the children are identical, it's easy to treat them as a "package," providing them with the same clothing, toys and quality of attention. But as similar as they may appear physically, emotionally they are different, and in order to grow up happy and secure as individuals, they need you to support their differences. As one twin explained, "We're not twins. We're just brothers who have the same birthday!"

Sibling Rivalry
Children born together may become either competitive or interdependent as they grow. Sometimes one child acts as the leader and the others as the followers. Whatever the specific quality of their interactions; however, most multiples develop very intense relationships early in life simply because they spend so much time with each other.
If you also have other children, your twins or multiples may prompt more than the usual sibling rivalry. They will require a large amount of your time and energy, and will attract a great deal of extra attention from friends, relatives and strangers on the street. You can help your other children accept, and maybe even take advantage of, this unusual situation by offering them "double rewards" for helping with the new babies and encouraging even more involvement in the daily baby-care chores. It becomes even more essential that you spend some special time each day alone with the other children doing their favorite activities.

As your children get a little older, particularly if they are identical, they may choose to play only with each other, making their other siblings feel left out. To discourage children from forming such exclusive bonds, urge them to play individually (not as a unit) with other children. Also, you or their babysitter might play with just one child while the other plays with a sibling or friend.

Development of Twins and Multiples
You may find that your children do not develop in the same pattern as do other children their age. Some multiples seem to "split the work," with one concentrating on motor skills while the other perfects social or communication abilities. Because they spend so much time together, many twins and multiples communicate better with each other than with other family members or friends. They learn how to "read" each other's gestures and facial expressions, and occasionally they even have their own verbal language that no one else can understand. (This is particularly true of identical twins.) Because they can entertain each other, they may not be very motivated to learn about the world beyond them. This unique developmental pattern does not represent a problem, but it does make it all the more important to separate your children occasionally and expose them individually to other playmates and learning situations.

Separation Anxiety
Twins or multiples are not always happy about being apart, especially if they've established strong play habits and preferences for each other's company. For this reason, it's important to begin separating them occasionally as early as possible. If they resist strongly, try a gradual approach using very familiar children or adults to play with them individually but in the same room or play area. Being able to separate will become increasingly important as the children approach school age. In nursery school, most family members can<