Sharing, Caring and Quality Time - Part I
Giving your child the guidance and support he needs to grow up healthy involves all the skills of parenthood: nurturing, guiding, protecting, sharing and serving as an example or model. Like other skills, these must be learned and perfected through practice. Some will be easier for you than others. Some will seem easier on certain days than on others. These variations are a normal part of raising a child, but they do make the job challenging.
Enjoy Your Child as an Individual Recognize that your child is unique, different from everyone else, and appreciate his special qualities. Discover his special needs and strengths, his moods and vulnerabilities, and especially his sense of humor, which starts to show itself early in infancy. Let him show you the joy of play. The more you enjoy your child and appreciate his individuality, the more successful you'll be in helping him develop a sense of trust, security and self-esteem. You'll also have a lot more fun being a parent!
Educate Yourself You probably know much more than you think you do about being a parent. You spent years observing your own parents and other families. Perhaps you've taken care of other people's children. And you have many instinctive responses that will help make you a giving parent. In other times, this probably would have been all the preparation you needed to raise a child. However, our society is extremely complex and is constantly changing. In order to guide their children in this new world, parents often benefit from some extra education. Talk to your pediatrician and other parents, and ask questions. Read about issues and problems that affect your family. Contact your local religious organizations, school systems and PTAs, child-care centers, parent education classes and other groups that specialize in child-related concerns. Often, these groups serve as networks for concerned and interested parents. These networks will help you feel more comfortable and secure when issues seem puzzling or frustrating, a not uncommon state today.
As you gather advice, sift through it for information that is right for you and your child. Much of what you receive will be very valuable, but not all of it. Because child rearing is such a personal process, there is bound to be disagreement. You are not obligated to believe everything you hear or read. In fact, one of the purposes of educating yourself is to protect your child from advice that does not fit your family. The more you know, the better equipped you'll be to decide what works best for your family.
Be a Good Example One of the ways your child shows his love for you is by imitating you. This also is one of the ways he learns how to behave, develop new skills and take care of himself. From his earliest moments he watches you closely and patterns his own behavior and beliefs after yours. Your examples become permanent images, which will shape his attitudes and actions for the rest of his life. Setting a good example for your child means being responsible, loving and consistent not only with him but with all members of the family. The way you conduct your marriage, for example, teaches your child about male and female roles and how he's "supposed" to behave as he gets older. Show your affection and take time for yourselves as a couple. If your child sees his parents communicating openly, cooperating and sharing household responsibilities, he'll bring these skills to his own relationship.
Setting good examples also means taking care of yourself. As an eager, well-meaning parent, it's easy to concentrate so hard on your family that you lose sight of your own needs. That's a big mistake. Your child depends on you to be physically and emotionally healthy, and he looks to you to show him how to keep himself healthy. By taking care of yourself, you express your self-esteem, which is important for both you and your child. Getting a sitter and resting when you're overtired or ill t
