Special Events in the Family
Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, weddings, and summer vacations - these are special times in a family's life and can create lasting memories.
However, as treasured and important as these events are, some families try to make too much of them. Parents may try to turn each birthday party into the best one ever. Or they feel they have to fulfill every wish on their children's gift lists. Inevitably, that kind of attitude creates anxiety and disappointment, since few events turn out perfectly.
Tell your child to draw up a list of things he wants so that you and others who plan to give him gifts have something to choose from. Have him underline or indicate his top preferences in some other manner. This way, he will understand from the beginning that he won't get everything on the list, and he won't be disappointed. And if you can, try to surprise him with something not on his list.
If your family budget does not allow you to buy your child most of what he wants, do not feel guilty; instead, buy one or two gifts that will mean the most, rather than a dozen that don't. Even if you can provide for your child's every wish, some selectivity can teach him to set priorities and to learn values.
More important, spend time with and show your love for your child; this is much more significant and lasting than material items. Remember that special events - from family gatherings to attendance at school recitals - are times to demonstrate the specialness of the people you care about.
Excerpted from "Caring for Your School-Age Child: Ages 5-12" Bantam 1999 (c) Copyright 2000 American Academy of Pediatrics
